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The fallout Since you’re not showing any interest in her taste, you come across as selfish, says relationship psychologist Susan Quilliam.

“ It suggests you’re only concerned with what you want.” Your move Gather info – either from her friends or (subtly) from her – about what kind of food, films or music she’s into. Your move In order to temper your natural instinct to impress and wax autobiographical, aim for a 60/40 split, with her talking for the larger chunk of time. Talking about it isn’t exactly the ideal way to showcase your most attractive qualities.

A good rule of thumb: if you aren’t available for a date within 7 days of sending the message, don’t send it.

NOT-SO-SMOOTH OPERATOR The scenario: “I recently received a message that said, ‘Damn you’re a pretty white girl, you into muscular black men?

"It's about figuring out more about their personality at this stage, and that initial kind of chemistry — if you have that chemistry," Meier adds.

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