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The Traffic Test is passed when I’m finishing up a hangout with someone and one of us is driving the other back home or back to their car, and I find myself for traffic. To me, almost nothing is more critical in choosing a life partner than finding someone who passes the Traffic Test.
When there are people in your life who do pass the Traffic Test, what a whopping shame it would be to spend 95% of the rest of your life with someone who doesn’t.
Marriage isn’t the honeymoon in Thailand—it’s day four of vacation #56 that you take together. To endure 20,000 days with another human being and do so happily, there are three key ingredients necessary: I enjoy spending time with most of my friends—that’s why they’re my friends.
Marriage is not celebrating the closing of the deal on the first house—it’s having dinner in that house for the 4,386th time. But with certain friends, the time is so high-quality, so interesting, and so fun that they pass the Traffic Test. It means I’m lost in the interaction, invigorated by it, and that I’m the complete opposite of bored.
Every night, researchers who investigate relationships and person perception miss out on great opportunities.